Saturday, November 28, 2009
-12:11 AM
you can't imagine how blessed i am.
i am so so undeserving.
but your love exceeds what man can ever comprehend <3
you give me trials.
but the blessings you bestow upon me are overflowing;
Thursday, November 26, 2009
-10:20 AM
rock-solid faith!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
-5:48 PM
sometimes i don't know what i'll do if i didn't have God in my life.
will i kill myself, sink into depression, or be a failure.
so i thank you, thank you, Lord, with all my heart and soul.
i owe my life to you.
because i'll never come so far, will be nothing, without you.
life's hard, will always be.
but there's nothing i fear, with you by my side.
in John 9, Jesus heals a Man born blind.
His disciples asked [Jesus], "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
sometimes we question God,
why does he puts so much trials and tribulations ahead of us,
put us through so much pain and suffering,
or why everyone else is 'better' than ourselves.
but he answers us, it is not us, but it is so, to display the work of God in our life.
should we not be honored that God uses our lives for his work?
should we not be happy of those who will be saved because of us?
we should. (but it's hard, of course)
bringing up another point, what about testifying for God?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
-8:54 AM
i must give in my best too, right.
i cannot be over-reliant. i must put in effort, and then let God do the rest.
please, i pray for wisdom, an absorbent and receptive brain, discipline and mental strength.
sometimes, when i read proverbs, i feel like its reprimanding me,
and it just so effectively points out my flaws, and tells me what i should be doing.
what lies in our heart?
why do we use spiteful words and do mean things, which we know will hurt others.
if our heart stems from a holy God, our actions should reflect our faith,
we should be in step with Christ. doing what is pleasing in His eyes. being an image of Him.
perhaps we don't know how much of what we do or say affects others,
but it does, especially to the ones we love.
this knowledge is hidden in my heart, and i have tried to ignore its existence,
because i've overwhelming pride.
and i am selfish to want freedom, etc, that i do not care about the people who are truly concerned about me. but how.
Monday, November 23, 2009
-5:43 PM
i want to cry. i feel like i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
i have been doing nothing else but STUDY for the past week. and. it feels like i have not learnt anything. i can't even bear to describe it. i am literally trembling, heart racing when i think about the exams ahead of me. FACTUAL IMPOSSIBILITY. INEPTITUDE OF meself.
my mind is a tangled mess, signals transmitted at the speed of light, maybe even faster, but everything is so not making sense.
i am SO not coping well with law school. i am worse than an average student. UGH. WHY. i dont want to be average, not say worse. why am i not smart enough. why can't i study hard and well.
breathe in. and out.
doesn't help.
Isaiah 40:29-31, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Lord, you know i trust in you. but i feel like it is MY OWN ineptitude this time. that maybe i am not good enough.
you ask me, 'What can I not do?'
nothing, lord. nothing is impossible for you.
but lord, okay lord. i trust, i trust, i trust.
give me strength and wisdom. hold my hand. bring me through this.
"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5
'Superman' - Five for Fighting
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me.
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it’s not easy to be me.
Up, up and away…away from me
Well it’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
inside of me ...... inside of me ...ya inside of me... inside..of me
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
I’m only a man looking for a dream
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
It’s not easy ... wu.. hoo.. hoo..
It’s not easy to be.. me...
I am not who they see me to be, smart without effort. i am really much lousier than they think.
I feel so weak, so vulnerable. So many expectations to live up to.
I feel like I'm trying so hard to stay afloat. but no one sees this. i know you do, Lord. ty.
i feel so insufficient facing the overwhelming burdens and obstacles ahead, it seems so impossible, so insurmountable, i cannot manage everything on my own.
i feel like i am going to collapse.
but Lord, you are there for me.
每當我軟弱疲乏,對未來充滿懼怕
你對我慈聲呼喚,來到你寶座前
你是如此溫柔,深知我心裡感受
你賜下話語,你光照顯明
你煉淨我生命
主耶穌,我心緊緊跟隨你
你同在使我得安息
主耶穌,我心緊緊跟隨你
等候你我重新得力
you are my overflowing and never-ending source of strength and comfort,
because of you, you are sufficient for me, your grace is sufficient,
i need nothing else. 因为在你里面没有难成的事. there is nothing impossible for you.
we are never enough for the world, but lord, you complete us.
Lord, i promise you. i will never be arrogant of my accomplishments, because my competence
comes from you alone.
all i'll ever need is YOU alone.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
-1:53 AM
boys. they impact me a great deal, you know that.
one after another walks into my life, making my heart flutter,
and then, they walk out after awhile.
i always ask myself, is it me. or is it them.
i often wonder.
please don't play with my heart. be genuine to me. be true.
i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle,
this week is a really bad week,
immersed in my books, my laptop perpetually plugged in,
i have been trying, but my heart is heavy, confidence an all-time low,
while the rest of the world are mugging away, furiously.
i wonder if i can finish studying, and then i wonder if it's all going into my brain,
i start hesitating if this is the right path for me, if i can survive lawschool, if i can make it out of this hellhole.
is this too much for me to bear?
Lord. i feel so low. so tired.
i know, you're my strength. i know, nothing is impossible for you. i know, you have my life mapped out.
and deep inside, i know, you are the ONLY one who truly understands :(
i pray, that you give me wisdom, brains, and discipline. be with me.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." --Matthew 11:28-30
Monday, November 9, 2009
-2:55 PM
Sometimes, I feel like I am made used of by others, and I do not know how to refuse them.
Especially when the world out there is so competitive, it sucks to let people gain a foothold on you.
When we go back to the Bible, God tells us,
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." (Galatians 6:9-10)
Hebrews 13:16: "But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."
God, watch over me.