Tuesday, April 13, 2010
-5:43 PM
my paper yesterday didn't go too well,
missed out a few issues here and there, didn't have time to expound on some of the issues,
and my essay question makes me cringe :(
i saw a verse today,
"I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all"
- Ecclesiastes 9:11
it's not always the 'best' (as judged by the world) who always wins,
but God is the one who determines it all.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
-5:25 PM
i've a 40% exam tomorrow which i spent my whole last week on,
a 25% exam on thursday, and a 40% exam on saturday, both which i have not touched O.o
but i spent 4 hours in church today, while my schoolmates are probably mugging like mad at home.
okay, 4 hours isn't much.
but it means quite alot to me because i've been horribly slow in my studying, and i've a ton of things unstudied so far.
and 1.5 out of the 4 is spent playing captain's ball with my cellies.
perhaps i shouldn't be out having fun, but i thought it was important for me to spend time with them.
if i'm their 'shepherd', surely i need to be there.
i just wished i had more patience and love somedays :/
whenever i'm having a hard choice deciding between school/fun and church,
Matthew 10:39 encourages me alot,
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
we often lose sight of our purpose in life, it is to glorify God's name and spread His word,
and not chasing after meaningless and transient 'prizes' in life.
so maybe i'm better off spending some time, having some fun, in church,
then staying home studying.
studying is the second priority of my life, and i need to use what God gave me to glorify his name, i'm going to places where people may not be able to go, so that I can spread His gospel.
and at the end of the day, i know He will see me through.
Lord, let me know well for all the finals this time, i need them to pull my dismal grades up, and i'm going to really work harder next semester onwards. promiseeeee.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
-5:38 PM
i love God,
(but i detest myself.)
i feel so hopeful for my holidays :D
-2:02 AM
i honestly don't know how am i going to finish studying by monday
HOWHOWHOW.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
-9:19 AM
when we read our Bibles, and listen to sermons,
do we apply the truths we learn to our daily lives?
we need to obey his Word, and bring our lives into harmony with God's desires.
"to follow the Lord and keep his commands, regulations and decrees with all [my] heart and all [my] soul" (2 Kings 23:3)
To change the world, we need to start with ourselves.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
-11:41 PM
at the rate i'm going, and the unfocused me,
i'm so going to flunk my papers.
and how about my hopes to pull up my grades x.x
my scholarship seems to be slipping away right now, and good results seem to be out of reach.
in such a seemingly impossible and situation, i'm really unsure of where i'm heading towards or what's ahead.
God, i need your help.
i shall trust in You, and i'm going to run towards that goal, never losing sight.
for Your glory.
it's not me, but You. (i need to remember this)
i'm such a critical person, always quick to find faults in others.
but before that, perhaps i should look within myself, and check my own heart,
whether the faults i see in others, are really faults in me.
are the problems are because of others, and not myself?
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
-4:06 PM
why can't i be everything and have everything?
right now, i want nothing more than to be smart. very smart.
and then maybe now i won't feel the ache from my lousy results.
it doesn't matter if people think i'm smart, i don't think so.
i want to be smarter in wherever i am studying, even if i'm taking a course which may be more challenging.
and i HATE to be average.
i need to be above average, i don't want to be okay, i want to be awesome.
ARGHHHH.
i'm going to study hard, no matter what it takes.
i'm not going to sleep, i'm not going to rest, I'M GOING TO SCORE FOR MY FINALS,
and prove everyone wrong, and pull all my pathetic results UP UP UP.
God, i can't do this without you. You're my strength.
Lord, i pray for superb brains and memory, wakefulness (not to get tired easily), and high efficiency.
I NEED TO DO WELL FOR MY FINALS. I MUST.
(Lord, scholarship?) trust trust trust.
-5:10 AM
i need more drive than this.
i need to be way more efficient and less distracted at this point in time.
there are many times we forget God's word, or are disobedient,
when we're so overcome by anger, arrogance or selfishness.
we need to be reminded by Romans 12:9-21:
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Live in harmony with one another.
Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord.
On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
to keep our spiritual fire ignited, and burning strong,
we must continuously stock our fuel supply and watch the fire.
let's always remember God's words when we go about our daily lives, and treat everyone with love. <3
Monday, April 5, 2010
-8:07 AM
Hillsong United - From the Inside Out
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
when fear engulfs us, let's instead look to Jesus.
"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." (Prov 18:10)
and regardless of what happens,"Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared" (Prov 3:25-26)
God is watching out for us. He will not let any harm befall us.
-1:57 AM
my studying week begins on monday.
i'm excited, somewhat. go go go!
this is where a miracle has to happen for me and my awful results. through God, of course (:
ever wondered what Jonah prayed when He was inside the great fish for three days and nights?
Jonah 2:
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:
"In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me.
I said, 'I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple.'
The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God.
"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord."
And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
when your world seems to be crumbling,
call out to our God, because He hears us.
let us not learn only when God has to send afflictions our way to get our attention and lead us to repentance.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
-10:58 PM
last night was the second time i pulled an all-nighter this semester.
i slept only at 7am and had to wake up at 9am for school.
i should never leave my assignments to the last minute, especially when i have had sufficient time before that.
while somedays i think i'm superhuman to stop myself from doing things like watching tv, playing computer games or go shopping, while i'm in my school term,
i mostly think i'm horribly lazy and undisciplined when it comes to doing work.
i usually while 80% of my time surfing the net and doing meaningless stuff when i should be studying.
If only i could use my time more efficiently, perhaps my results would not be so abysmal.
my school term is finally over, and next week is probably my horror study week.
i better pull up my socks right nowww.
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"
- Romans 10:14
we need to be actively spreading His gospel, so that more people will hear of His name and believe in Him.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
-11:48 AM
i need to start studying what i've learnt the whole term now.
i'm so scared, and dread it. i feel so dead.
at the second coming,
"Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them.
They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
- Revelations 21:3-4
yay. how comforting is it to know that all my sufferings will pass, and there will only be joy when i'm in heaven. :D