lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Thursday, July 29, 2010
-10:10 PM
Nowadays, I'm either rotting around at home watching dramas or going out with my friends. I'm enjoying life so much this summer, I'm going to be so upset when school starts :(
But God, I would like to think you've mapped up a great semester for me, so I shall be excited for it too! I am going to try to work harder this time round (:
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
-2:14 AM
"Sometimes I feel like there’s a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there’s a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing… I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen."
- Practical Magic
sometimes, i wonder about what is love, and its existence.
20 years, and i haven't met love.
isit me, or isit that i've not met the One.
as i see the people around me get into relationships, and maybe break them too,
i wonder about what's going in their heads, and their hearts.
i don't understand.
In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through I watch as lovers pass me by Walking stories - whos and hows and whys Musing lazily on love Pondering you I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell When it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well I'll be waiting for you baby I'll be holding back the darkest night Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right Love is waiting It's my caution not the cold there's no other hand that i would rather hold the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you don't keep time, slow the pace Honey hold on if you can the bets are getting surer now that you're my man I could write a million songs about the way you say my name I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start, neither should I rush my way into your heart
Sunday, July 25, 2010
-9:15 PM
there seems to be a tug of war inside of my heart.
part of me misses cambodia so badly,
but the other part of me is trying so hard to suppress feelings towards cambodia
(of fear that i may lose any sense of stability if i allow myself to think of cambodia).
my heart is with cambodia, even though my physical body has left.
i think i miss the kids most, the lifestyle there's so carefree and fun.
but then i think if i were to go back there alone, without my friends,
would it be the same, would i be fine, would i still love that place.
i need to go back there again.
Friday, July 23, 2010
-12:16 AM
i don't like the feeling of being left out.
and i am feeling it more and more as the days go by.
sometimes, i wonder if i was the one who gave up and decided to be reclusive.
Why are you looking for loveWhy are you still searching as if I'm not enoughTo where will you go childTell me where will you runTo where will you runAnd I'll be by your sideWherever you fallIn the dead of nightWhenever you callAnd please don't fightThese hands that are holding youMy hands are holding you
Thursday, July 22, 2010
-12:22 PM
there are days i feel lousy.
and the past year has just been a continuous downhill.
tumbled, and bruised all over.
a couple of reminders here and there, and i sink back into despair.
but that's just life, right.
i contemplate about how Job puts it, "...God has given and God has taken away. Praise the Lord."
maybe i'm a failure in this world.
but in God's eyes, i'm his beloved daughter, always.
maybe in school i've failed. maybe among friends, i'm just not cool enough. maybe regarding accomplishments, i never had enough to my name.
but to God, i know i've grown spiritually and closer to Him.
and for that, i rejoice.
that's what life should be about, ain't it?
i'm running for the eternal race,
no longer with men, for a world that will not last.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
-9:16 AM
i'm afraid, much fearful, of losing my memories.
maybe i just get attached to people, things and memories easily,
i can't bear to lose them.
got back from cambodia after spending 2 whole weeks there.
you won't believe it, but i had such a whale of a time there,
i didn't want to come home, at all.
i wanted to keep at building houses, building bulletin boards, wrapping plastic
playing soccer with the construction workers,
and most importantly, play with the kids, hug the kids, teach the kids, and LOVE the kids.
this is one place one time which really hit home in my heart.
i felt so much love overpouring out of me, i didn't know what to do.
maybe people don't understand why i keep taking photos,
especially with the kids.
that's only because i treasure these memories so much,
i don't want to give them up, ever,
i don't want to lose the kids.
but when i wake up in the morning on my overly-soft bed, in my overly-cooling room,
i get a sick feeling (almost like a hangover),
because i miss cambodia and the kids like how
man needs air, kids love sweets, adults desires money.
why am i back in boring singapore, with so much blessings i don't deserve,
when all i really want is to be back in cambodia,
just playing catching, jumprope, or games with the kids.
what sucks the most, is reality. i'll never get to see these same people again. and in that minuscule of a chance that i would, they will never remember me. :(
but you know. life goes on.
and we get easily pushed on by the tides, we move on.
in my heart, i really don't want to.
i always want to feel like the days in cambodia. not the raw aftertaste.
i miss cambodia till my heart aches.