Saturday, February 27, 2010
-1:39 AM
i deleted my beloved tumblr account. :(
my friend discovered it, i freaked out, and i deleted it.
maybe i'm afraid to let people know what i truly think or feel.
right now. i feel like i need someone to talk to.
someone who is willing to listen, who understands and actually cares.
(and not someone who makes me feel like a loser)
somedays i really want to be so many things. because i see my inadequacy.
i wish i was a million times better than who i am.
and then maybe life will be easier. maybe people will actually notice me.
my mind is just filled with so many thoughts i can't exactly verbalise them.
i'm drowning in a wave of sadness. while i desperately try to reach out for something to hold on to.
but i see everything float on by.
i feel so lousy. i feel so isolated. i feel so dejected.
Starfield - Hiding PlaceIn the shadows I can hear your voice,Singing to meIn the valley, I can hear your heartReaching for me nowAnd I wait flooded with your strength of your peaceYou're my defender the shield of my heartYou are my hiding placeWhen terror surrounds me You keep me from harmYou are my hiding placeIn the darkest I can feel your lightWrapped around meIn my suffering, I can feel your joyRising in me nowAnd I wait flooded with your strength of your peaceHere before You, JesusIn this placeHere before You nowFace to faceUnder the shelter of the Most HighWill I be saved, and will I abide
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments,because you know they produce quarrels.
And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful."
- 2 Timothy 2:22-24
i have to learn to distinct myself from the rest of the world,
to walk on the path less-traveled.
i have to be a reflector of Christ, because my life is not my own.
it's so hard to live such a holy life, but i believe that is my calling.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
-12:02 AM
i'm going through a crazy week right now,
with midterms and assignments due in the same week as chinese new year.
but God is still good, all the time.
my friend just sailed off, and will be away for 6 weeks.
seems like a long while ain't it.
but school has already been around for 7 weeks, and i still hate it. argh.
sometimes i think about what people think of me when i say or do something, and occasionally i cringe. i hope you don't think me weird or irrelevant :/
recess break is just around the corner, and i just want to relax.
but sometimes, there's time, but no companion.
maybe i should just busy myself with work or outings, so i don't have to think of anything else.
but then again, seriously, who am i kidding, there's never enough time.
Sometimes, when we are going through the dips in our life,
we may ask "Where are you, my God?"
but thing is, He has never left us nor forsaken us. He is always there.
He is working in the dark, even if we cannot see it.
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me; therefore i will remember You."
- Psalm 42:5-6
Friday, February 12, 2010
-12:07 AM
it's so hard to practise what we know is right.
James 1:19-27 teaches us to listen and do!
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
i shall try really hard to keep my words and actions aligned,
in this way, can i be a good reflector of Christ.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
-6:30 PM
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."
- Philippians 2:3
Monday, February 8, 2010
-1:22 AM
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.
Even though i was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, i was shown mercy because i acted in ignorance and unbelief.
The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."
- 1 Timothy 1:12-14
Paul called himself the worst of all sinners, but He knew with certainty that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, including him.
Sometimes, we feel that we are such sinful people, so unworthy of God's love,
but the truth is that, "If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things." (1 John 3:20).
God is always there, ready to forgive us, so long as we confess to Him.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
-9:11 PM
in life, we face storms that threaten to confuse and disorient us.
when we're feeling disappointed and helpless,
let's not try to navigate out by ourselves,
instead, let's find God.
"Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."
- Psalm 32:6-8
God is the only one who can guide us out, and in the right direction.
He is always there waiting for us to call out to Him.
and with Him, no harm can befall us, because nothing is greater than Him.
‘你的话是我脚前的灯,是我路上的光。’ - 诗篇109:105
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
-11:51 PM
i'm dead tired. slept for only 3 hours last night and woke up at 645.
i realize this occurs every tuesday night. bad bad bad.
i've exceeded the sms limit this month, and there's still 3 days more.
and then, i'm just thinking, i wish it was easier talking to you. what happened?
there will be days when you miss some people,
or think back on those good old days.
perhaps sometimes, we should make the effort to keep those relationships going,
and not regret when it gradually disintegrates into dust.
when we go to heaven, we will have a glorified body.
and we'll hear Jesus calling our name, and then, we will know He is our Lord.
"My sheep listen to my voice; and i know them, and they follow me." -John 10:27
-1:12 AM
there is something very wrong with me.
why am i so easily distracted, and refuse to start studying until late at night.
i have the time, but i'm not using it well. UGH!
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord."
- Psalm 139:1-4
There's nothing I can hide from you, you know me best.