lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Monday, October 26, 2009
-12:28 AM
my whole day yesterday was church, church and church.
i love it.
but in the midst of all the fun and laughter, i feel guilty and worried for not studying.
school really pulls my life away from me. it's always bugging me at the back of my mind.
i have many dark secrets.
i only realize how tight i'm holding on to all these dark portions of my life,
and afraid of showing them to others, even my church members.
maybe it's unhealthy, but i'm just not ready to dish out everything about me,
even the normal parts of my life.
i think maybe i'm afraid of getting hurt,
of people viewing me differently when they realize i'm so much worse than who they see,
and of people knowing me.
i'm weird, i guess.
i listen to 'fighting' by yellowcard,
and i think "what am i fighting for, there must be something more",
and i think i'm fighting for God and his glory,
but it seems so intangible and vague sometimes.
and then i sing "you were not there when i wanted to say",
when i think about how no one hears what i truly say,
especially when i want you simply to understand,
and comes the part "i said i'm ok but i know how to lie",
maybe that's just how i live in my life in front of others,
no one knows how i feel or think, because i disallow them,
there's just his barrier between me and the world, a wall that i chose to build,
because i don't think they understand.
and when i think of all this, i am grateful for having God.
because i know he knows how i feel without me opening my mouth and try to explain,
he feels my hurt, worries, and anger.
he doesn't judge and condemn, but he comforts, encourages, and admonishes when appropriate.
i trust him, more than anyone in this entire universe.
Thank you, Lord (:
God fills us with "the Spirit of God" and created us with different gifts,
no matter what talents we have,
let's use them to glorify Him.
